I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
