he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
