9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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