pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize