Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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