I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
ttyl tear gas
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
