pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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