I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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