we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
