you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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