I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
