So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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