at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
