He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
