like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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