He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Did I show you my penis last night?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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