Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
