you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
