We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
