why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
