You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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