She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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