Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I am naked and annoyed.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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