It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
