WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's rum buckets o'clock
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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