oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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