Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I could make wine with my vomit
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
