Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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