He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
