the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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