i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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