He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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