He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
