The maid of honor just puked.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Success! We fucked roommates!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize