Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
