He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
