She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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