You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You did what with his pubic hair?
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