I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Redeem this text for a blowjob
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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