So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
