this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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