Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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