Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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