I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize