Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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