there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
