1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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