I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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