you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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