Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
