and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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