he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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