One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
