Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
