went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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