I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm too high and old for this...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
