Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
