I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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