i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
dude. I can hear the air.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
