3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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