4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
