So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
