but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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