Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
