i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
