He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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