i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
