You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
