This is not my ceiling
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
