id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize