Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize