Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
is that a dick in a sweater?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
