the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
