I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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