Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
