i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
