i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
