My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
