Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
