I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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