my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
